mr-L

2006-11-26T23:06:00.000+08:00

au revoir, monde?
peut-etre.

i'm scared.

2006-11-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

Byee!

Tmr, i'll be in the hospital. Err. Today. Past 12 alr.

2006-11-19T01:58:00.000+08:00

Wheee!

Wahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Oh my tian! This is so fun! :D

2006-11-18T03:06:00.000+08:00

Wahahaha!

I'm here, for a very special reason. To blog about...the shit that came out from my arse today. And, to describe about it, of course. So, when i first glanced at it, it was brown in colour. Reminds me of the cadbury chocolate i had this morning. Fruits & nuts, perfecto! Anyway, when i checked on the shit again, i found no rasins! Where the hell did the raisins from my choco bar gone to?! Daaaaarn! Cadbury cheated me off raisins. Wahhhhhh! On the contrary, i know where my nuts went to! It went to my brain! That's why i'm being a nut by blogging this nutty stuff! Hah! I win!

Okay, no more fooling around, let's talk about serious stuffs, i ate a plate of nasi lemak today! Cool eh! It's Nasi Lemak, leh! Omfg, you can't find it on Mars, be jealous! Yaaaaaaaaay~!

Errr, okay. Being reaaaaaaaaally young at heart, i went to watch doraemon! And i made ae discovery, i'm actually cuter than doraemon! Dont you know! It's like so obvious right, hmm. I'm yandaoer, chioer, and cuter than doraemon. And i realised, doraemon's a porn anime series! Else, i'd say that...the creator of doraemon's reaaaaaaal horny. One who's into child porno, i suspect. NPNT ("acronym for No Picture No Talk") ? Here's prove!

If you've watched doraemon before, which everyone should have unless youre born a old hag, you would have know that this is jingxiang alias yijing from doraemon, a femme which daxiong has a crush on, and there, she's being exploited by the author, poor fictional character.

Other than the occassional pornography doraemon offers, there's also loads of humour embedded, which of course, includes the following;

Aint that cuteeee! Awwwwwww!

Okay, let's not talk about doraemon alr. Boring you out eh. Sooooo! My personal life sparks more interest in you, eh! Yep, i know, don't bother debating with this. Sooooooooo! I went to...err, swim, on Wednesday, that was...3 days ago, just minus the date above ^ by 3 and you'll know the date, i can't be bothered. I wrote 2 days ago initially, but it's 4am now, so it's 3 days alr, so minus 3. Sososososo, before swimming, i went to play bball! With...yh, zx, lls, wf, and kkb. Yeah, and Wii~ i won lls! Wahahaha! Then went to have KFC and some random girl waved and me and i said byebye. Wahahaha^2! And went to swim~! Omfg, i'm like so sexy. Went there to stalk girls in bikini with the guys! Yaaaaaay! Stalked a girl for 16 laps before she ran away, boooooooo!

I wanna go watch my doraemon alr! I'm a gaaaaaaaaaay. I'll stop blogging, yaaaay!

2006-11-14T21:58:00.000+08:00

Hi, How are you? I am fine, Thank you.

My name is xxx xxxx xxx. I am x years old. I have a dick, i now go measure how long, you wait.

...

I have measured my dick, it is 12 inches long. It has a name, it's name is Free Willy. Unlike normal humans, i have a pair of eyes, a pair of ears, a nose, and a mouth. I have much hairs on my head, let me count the number of hairs i have. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9....

Nevermind, my teacher have not taught me what comes after 9. I live in Singapore. People call my country a clean and green one. But that's lying, and lying is bad, my teacher once told me that liars are dirty fellas, no wonder i am so sick.

I was borned on X:/Universe/Galaxy:MilkyWay/SolarSystem/Earth/LandMass/Asia/SEA/Singapore/West on 19th October.

Yes, I am classified under 'X' drive. I am well-known for my 12-inches. People gawk at it because they are jealous.

In addition, other than having a pair of eyes, a pair of ears, a nose and a mouth, i have a pair of hands and legs. On my hand, there are 10 fingers, and on my leg, they are 10 toes. When i do mathematics, i count with my finger. 3+2 gives me 3 fingers + 2 fingers, so i know the answer is five. When i do more complex problems, like 10+5, i involve my toes. Sometimes, things do get out of hand, example, 10+11. Luckily for me, i am a male. And i can do this problem with what i have but females do not have.

I have nine meals a day, they are, breakfast, breakfast2lunch, lunch, lunch2tea, tea, tea2dinner, dinner, supper, and of course, be4bedtime-meal. But miraculously, nothing comes out. I wonder how my body stores them, or rather, is it because of the fact that i cemented my arsehole during a truth-or-dare session.

I do sleep, at least 1 hour per fortnight. That is so weak, considering normal pigs sleep more than me. I am bored, I shall go now. Stare at the wall perhaps?

Byebye, miexx d3aarr bl0ggiie . PUIZxs.

2006-11-12T15:34:00.000+08:00

I'm very the bored.

Me don't want blog. Me don't know blog what. Should i go something like;

ONEH:
Sianz... today hor... wake up, then went toilet...then pangsai lor. then the shit come out likez shit likez that. what talking me sia... shit of coursez lookz likez shitz lorz.

OR,

TWOEH,
hees . iie wennt tuu sh0p sh0p tuu-day, thhen iie saaw thishh cuute cuute guyy , wahh. ebenn mii miex als0 sayy hhe cutee luhhs . hishh namme ishh guannzhii .

I twit enough right ^^

Anyway, haiyah! Blogging's a hassle. See, becos google's the boss here, google redirected me to 4 different sites before i got access to meh blog, ludicrously atrocious! Booohoohoo, google bully me becos they acquired YouTube at USD$1.65 no billion. Goooooogle, joking nia, dont sue me can, plsplspsplspsplspspspls.

I think i've walked into someone's rectum, cos, ew. Anw, i went to skate early in the morning, and the dang ground had to be wet. Can't skate properly if the ground's wet, cos my new blade seriously sucks. Rubber wheels, oh my tian, i just realised that today. I feel so cheated, orh, me fragile heart crack crack. And thru-out the whole skating fiasco, i felt like a moron =] Rubber wheels had no grip on the granite floors at all, it's more like i'm bare-footed on ice. Nvmmm! Halfway thru, there was this thing that plopped on my head, yeayea. 1/4 of it plopped on my head, and where's the other 3/4? It was dripping, but more of an oozing action, right down to the dang floor. Disgusting, gross, hell ew. Can't figure what was it? Hiyah! They're very abundant in Singapore and always shit on people's head laaaa! Suay enough anot =]

Err, after skating, i went back to my father's car, and he had to do some business stuff, so i tagged along. The car's parked at a rather isolated area, so yeah, i begun singing, loudly. And i realise the window's slightly open after 36min, becos a crowd of ppl was gathering outside my pop's car.

Down on my luck, eh. It's saddening to be a freethinker, cos i want to have a change of luck, but i have no god to turn to, and i have to pray to the mirror to this god i met recently, god-dang-it.

Still want me to post ah, dont want, boring stuffs. =]

2006-11-09T00:23:00.000+08:00

Haiyah!

I wanted to post about chalet. But there's no need to now, go to any 2elephunk people's blog and you'll find many many posts on chalet! xD

Now, i'm gna pig more, 29 hours of sleep's still not enough! But before i pig, i shall cook myself a decent meal even thou i only learned how to cook instant noodles 2 weeks ago.

Yay =]

2006-11-04T14:53:00.000+08:00

I was on TV.

Told you.

2006-11-03T21:52:00.000+08:00

This is not a porn website, thank you.

Yes, i repeat, this is not a porn website. Children as young as 1 month old can visit my blog. That is, if my blog's that appealing.

To the cute female/male who made this search on google. I know my balls are real nice, but as you know, they're very exclusive and not everyone can lick and suck it, at least not you. My balls are tad exclusive that it's as biggggg as a tennis ball. A typical male spews out millions of sperm in an ejaculation, i spew zillions.

Yay, byebye!

2006-11-03T17:15:00.000+08:00

Your fault t.t

Today, i grew older by a day. 1 strand of hair grew from my scalp. It's currently 0.017cm long, anybody wants to see it?

Today, i read the Today newspaper, as usual, it was 70% advertisement and 30% news, out of which, 20% are news of today. Mediacorp is the parent company of Today, i do not own Today, however i own my copy of Today, i got it free today from Today, thank you Today.
This paragraph sounds sibei ToLan. Oh well.

Today, i wanted to buy something, i forgot what was it. But anyway, i woke up late. And my legs didn't like walking, and i flew to 'IT' instead. What, on earth, is 'IT?' All i can say is, 'IT,' is a shopping centre which i forgot what the name of it was. Yeah. Because it was Judith Hong's birthday, he was 1 year older, so, i went to the shopping centre with no itentions to get her - correction, HIM a present. Somehow, the 'IT' was like a replica of a maze, and i realized i kept walking around IT in circles. After 1/2 hour, i realised what a moron i was and stopped for the directory. Goodness. This post sounds like a primary one composition. I am too tired to press the button of the keypad, nono yesyes. I dont know. And it's all your fault, i forgot why i used that heading, i'll just randomly insert it into the post.

Today, i ended up in this shop that sells clothes. I was not naked. I have a leave covering my rod and balls, but i had to get a banana leaf because a leave from the apple tree just wouldn't do. 12 inches is alot. The auntie insisted that there was no changing room when there was one behind her in the shop, i changed in front of her in the public. Right, i got forced out of that shopping mall, but i went in clothed 15 minutes later anyway and managed to smuggle in. I went to another shop and bought my stuff, the end, byebye.

Today, 7 hours after i woke, i'm off to bed again. I wish to type in french because it's easier, but i can't becos you can't read it, boohoohoo.

Today, i realised i'm not a pervert. Norh way, i am a pervert, stop influencing me that i'm not one just because i didnt realise girls urinate from their assholes and not vagina. Dang, wth, i didn't even know that.

Today, this post is going to end here becos i said so, Yay.

2006-11-02T20:33:00.000+08:00

Yay or Boo?

Myth:
Yaaaaaaay! Judith hong, (YOU'RE A BIGGG MAN ALR!) Happy birthday!

But but, is it yay or boo? It's your birthday. You're one step nearer to your grave, you're more prone to wrinkles, pimples and acnes. But look at the brighter side of life, you get puberty at a faster rate! Yayyyyyyy~ like, oh yay.

(PS: Happy not, i dedicated 3/4 post for you seh, big big sacrifice!)

I wanted to post your peekture, later you take parang hack me, i mati, better not. I still have use for my virginity, dont want see grave so soon.

If you're offended, then take it as a innocent, cute, young, dashing, charming, chivalrous guy's joke! Soli! If you're not, then read on! (:

Excerpt 1.2 - Byebye.

Anw, everybody, merry christmas!

Ohhhh~
You better not shout;
You better not cry.
You better not [ i forgot what comes after this =x ]
Cause i'm telling you why,
LOHGUANZHI IS COMING TO TOWN! (:

Yay byebye. Dang, this post is classic. (:

To make this post more classic, here's a gaybienism spoiler. I posted this peekture without permission, oops. Victim, if you feel offended, IM me to remove it. (:

2006-10-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

Boohoohoo

BOOHOOHOO! 20 minutes more and i'm laoahpek on my way to turn into ticopek. And apparently, my side nav-bar had to fail on me on this day, and there's no tagboard, so here's another link for tagboard, if you don't see the side nav-bar at all. www.tagboard-l.blogspot.com

Yeah, i know the address sounds pretty ludicrous, it was something i thought up of in, brain-blast? Prolly 0.0013 seconds.

Hiyah. Too bad i not girl. If not those bloody guys would stay awake for me and then all come wish me happy birthday. Isn't that the behaviour of a typical guy...? Hmm, HELL YEAH. But...HEY...omg, what if some jokers("EDIT: I'm a martyr, dont curse me for this statement") from the sky decided to get me some sex-change party for my birthday?! Dang! *Pulls down pants and checks if my rod's still there* OH YEAH~ IT'S STILL THERE, rejoice! Dont want my genitals to look that grotesque, regardless of race, language or religion, plus gender, afterall. What i meant was...i dont want my genitals to look grotesque whether if it was a female or male's.

Hmm, 10 more minutes left. 10 sounds like 4, 4 sounds like die, die sounds like im cursing myself. Oh yeah, where was I. OH YEAH, how great would it be on my birthday if i was a girl. Okay...so, guys would be waiting to say happy birthday to me, guys would flock and get me presents. And my girlfriends ("assuming that i'm a girl") would get me presents and couldn't wait to wish me happy birthday either. From my POV alias Point Of View, that is.

At my current situation, i'm a guy. And guys are stingy! For my case, thou, i'm lazy. :D Speaking of which, YONGHUI, MY FHM. LIWEI, MY MAXIM. :O I'm gonna dig money out of those two's money-bag, yeah money-bag, pas pochette moi-aime. Henceforth, i shall tie them up and drag them to the mag store and get me a copy of FHM/MAXIM. Ha! That's what i define as, strategic-planning!

HOLY !@$#!! Countdown!
10, 9 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 1, DAMN WHERE'S ZERO?! NVM, CONTINUE. YAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! XD No one's wishing me happy birthday, cept girl(: ? And some guys on msn. Darned birthday. Boo! Oh yeah, happy birthday to matthew too, same birthdate as mine. Even thou he ain't reading my blog, but i'm like...kind, so yeah. EDIT:Someone wished me happy birthday at 12:03AM and claimed he stayed up to wish me happy birthday but he was actually staying up for soccer matches. BOOHOOHOO t.t

Cool, this whole post's filled with edits all over. Oh yeah, i should have 1710 people thanking me, cause the school's on holiday because of my birthday, but no one bothers. BOOHOOHOO TIMES TWO.

I'm getting off-topic (: That's uber cool. Let's go off-topic a teeny-weeny bit further. Oh my tian! I have poliomyelitis! Cant type! HAHAHA BYEBYE!

2006-10-18T18:08:00.000+08:00

WAHHHH T.T

All of you bully me! I'm cute you all say i not cute! BOOHOOHOO! Tmr's my birthday, no one giving me present T.T WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH bullies T.T

MY BIRTHDAY IS TMR, 19TH OCTOBER!

Cool, i'm like the gayest gay now :]

2006-10-15T14:49:00.000+08:00

Prank emails (?)

Okay, so i've been recieving emails that states MSN's gonna close down in...say, immediately for approx. 2 years? So...why do you people still fall for this act of idiot-cracy?

Hmmm. Firstly, you understand that I HAVE previously recieved many messages that HAVE stated the closing of accounts not being used within your servers. Cool, 2 haves in a sentence. And...aren't all accounts being used in your server? Besides, who'd be so moronic to assert you the rights to remove users of their own server? But yeah, I know you don't mean it that way, i just wanted to contradict your words. Next up, in the third sentence, it went...Within this message is ENCODED A SMALL PROGRAM THAT WILL LOCATED AND DEBUG YOUR ACCOUNT...so on and so forth. That will located, or that will locate? Without the 'D,' of course, dumbass. In addition, you wrote that the message is ENCODED WITH A SMALL PROGRAM, and later, approx 5 words alias 19 characters, you spoke of 'debug.' Seriously, what has programs got to do with...debugging?

Oh great, if i do not send it to fifteen OTHER users, my account would be PERMANETLY shut down. 'Permanetly,' or Permanently? You decide.

The sentence after that goes, 'When and if you send this...' Yeah, you implying trying to what? Damnxzs i is spokeneds niceys engrish. Oh yeah, you hereby grant that i will no longer recieve such moronic messages. Oh my tian, ah! Again, the definition of grant is to consent against something. And the word, hereby? Since when did my bedroom turn into a...court? Supreme court, arbitration court, whatever court that is.

You said that that was the last message that hotmail staffs'd send me, but the problem is, that message wasn't even sent to me by a staff of yours, dude. I'm starting to wonder if you are a staff of hotmail at all! And, you're spot-on! You're sucha annoyance, get lost. Besides, you wrote that message impersonating staffs of hotmail, you can be sued by microsoft and me, alleged impersonation and harrassment.

That reminds me, microsoft acquired hotmail. By rights, hotmail should NOT have any form of bandwidth problems, unless microsoft is a weakling, which it isnt. The organisation have enough cash to support even 12837129873912873 terabytes, no worries.

By the way, Mr. Accounts Coordinator, i'm not your friend, please use 'faithfully,' instead of 'sincerely,' thank you. Oh yeah, for a impersonated letter, do add in the salutation ' Yours,' in front of the word, 'faithfully,' thank you to the power of two.

Oh yes, i didnt know hotmail sacks coordinators everytime they 'send' sucha prank mail, because on every occassion i recieved this mail, the coordinator's name kind of changes...hmmm?

Another thing, OH forget it, i'm not bothered, the mail's just so...retarded. Too many mistakes to point out, brrr.

2006-10-14T20:22:00.000+08:00

SMILEEEE!

Cool! I've made a neeeeew discovery! Smiling makes me much more dashing than i used to be! But yeah, I'm already dashing, so no point. BUT, handsome-o-meter says i'm 99.99% recurring number 9 dashing! SO, I'll smile more to get my 0.00.....1% dashing-ness! :D

And since i'm on my journey on being the first 100% dashing guy, i shall be uber optimistic and none cynical! I will remove all my hate posts and slanderings! So that means...this whole blooooog is going down! :O Noooo, many many people will suicide if i shut down this blog! THEREFORE, all my posts are going to be replaced with this godly symbol! -> :D

Even though it's impossible, my optimisticism tells me that it is possible! AND, even thou 'optimisticism' is not a word, i shall believe it's a word, because i'm optimistic! :D Nope, i won't strike out optimisticism from my dictionary! :D Afterall, I BELIEVE I CAN FLY~ HOR I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY~ ^^v

Also, to make myself smile more often, i shall not hate anybody, anymore! You scold me, i give you a BIGGGGGG smile! TELETUBBIES BIGGGG HUGGG, AWWWWW! This way, i'll be the most dashing, handsome, yandao, shuai guy on the universe! Even friendster loves me! WHY?! Because my friendster URL is...http://www.friendster.com/YANDAO

I will not bear any grudge against darn i didnt ask him his name for having a small dick! I will not bear any grudge against i forgot his name for being so ugly and causing me visual pollution! I shall not bear a grudge with some female dogs on the street for having such a foul mouth! I will NOT bear a grudge with that moron who farted and caused the haze to reach PSI 150! NO! I will not hate you guys! Yay!

Huuuuuuuuraaayy! I'm scheduled for an operation! SMILE! :D Don't be jealous, okay? I know most of you don't have the chance to get operated on, so don't be jealous! It's such a rare opportunity! Woweeeeeeee!

MY GOD, after writing this post, i've realised i'm 0.0139103901249538% much more dashing! COOL! BYEEEE, I'm off to smile! :D :D :D

BIGGGGGGG SMILEEEEEE :D

2006-09-16T20:57:00.000+08:00

Geography, Singapore and land reclaimation; case study (I).

Not enough land in your room? Need more space for dumping your undergarments? No fear, reclaim land right in your room today in just five simple steps!

First, find many many long, hard, stiff, rods, and force them into the air outside your window. This is to make sure your newly reclaimed land will be stabilised and any strenous activities that you intend to do on your new plot of land will not cause soil erosion.

Next, form a wall, or dike if you'd like to call it like that, just remember, it's not spelt dick. This dick, oops, dike, would make sure air will not hinder your illegal land reclaimation process.

After which, using a special boat that can float in the air, use a self-modified lawn mower, which has spades instead of scythes, dig up all the soil from your backyard/garden and dump it all within your dike!

Subsequently, use a 500 ml cup to flatten your newly reclaimed land! That is, if you want to finish your plot of land by year 5555.

Finally, plant big, big, long, long, thick, thick, bushy, bushy, stiff, stiff things called trees to prevent your land from eroding!

Ta-da; you've made yourself extra space to dump your undergarments within your room!

Why hesitate, start today! :D

Okay, this is one of the lessons for EOY, see, i've helped you revised 1/31 of the lessons in EOY! It's easy as 1 2, uh...what comes after 2...

Ah, nevermind. I know i'm stupid T_______T

Oh yay, i've got many tags today! And if you've noticed, for the post below, it's not pearl, it's pear. SO, don't associate me with any forms of fruits, thank you! I'm gay, remember that. Heh. No offence thou.

AND YES, i'm still sick, i have difficulty talking due to the large amount of phlegm stuck in my extra sexy oesophagus, but hey, it's supposed to be windpipe! Windpipe carries wind, cool. IT's AIR, not wind. Don't blame me for the wrong information that goes into your brain. Anw, most people's brain perform the function left in right out, so nevermind.

I'm watching dachangjin now! Changjin young young version darn cute, and it seems i can never get sick of her young young version. Say no more; i shall watch my changjin get owned, pwned and busted for the next 14 minutes and 23 seconds, including advertisement time of 3min.

2006-09-15T20:56:00.000+08:00

If you read this after i went into the toilet.

IF YOU READ THIS AFTER I WENT INTO THE TOILET, my shit would have fell into the seemingly endless pit of manure. It would have prolly been taken to the NEWater factory for reverse osmosis and turned into water for your consumption delights.

IF YOU READ THIS AFTER I WENT INTO THE TOILET, I would have used some toilet paper to wipe my ass and throw it into the "tam-pui" a.k.a toilet bowl. It would have prolly been flushed away along with my shit and recycled into toilet paper for you to wipe your ass on. In other words;

IF YOU READ THIS AFTER I WENT INTO THE TOILET, you would have used a piece of toilet paper i previously used to wipe my ass. And that would be the time you will feel blessed and heavenly.

Okay, i was bored. But i bet that only smartasses would get this joke. Yoyoyoyo, smartasses.

I should be mugging instead of blogging. And my blog posts are not pervertic, can? It's just that...i'm a 100 years younger then you. Let x be your age and lohguanzhi's godly age would be (x-100). SO, i'm living in the future 100 years back from you where homo sapiens sucessfully evolved into street neanderthals. Where humans walk around naked and satisfy their raging hormonal needs like the way you see dogs satisfy theirs now.

My leg hurts like it's being licked by thousands of femme sapiens. And, that's bad. Anw, my knee's disjointed, my calves' torn, my right thigh's torn, and my ankle's gone. Okay, for the ankle part, it was pure exagerration, my ankle's just sprained. I got all these free after playing basketball in school today, now whoever said that nothing in this world's free?! I got knee'd, elbow'd, arse'd, and ram'd. How cool is that, even the ball hates me and had to hit my nose at a force of approximately 145mph. My nose is still swollen. Mind you, that was a force enough to fly me into the sky for 40, 000 feet, and i was lying in my statement before the comma. Anw, that force was generated by a incredibly muscular homme sapien and using the law of physics, he managed to calculate out where to shoot to hit my nosey at a maximum possible generated force from a species of his own. I know you don't understand any single thang i typed, but i don't care. I got elbowed halfway thru-out the game and i fell onto the ground. My lil brudder!

Anw, i'm more like a crippled guy now. And i'm bloody sick. Seems like i'm still sick, because i'm sick. Yeah. My lymphocytes and phagocytes just refuses to produce flu-virus-shaped decoys and antibodies to heal my faurghing body. These decoys are supposed to eat up the virus. Heh, eat up, my command of singrish is teh bestest in thish worlddd. And now, my entire respiratory system is being clogged up and i must breathe like i'm doing oral sex, and that's bad. What if some random police finds me in a corner, where there's a parallex-error going on in his puny brains. And when i'm there gasping for breath, he'd hold his gun against my head and say, 'stop it, oral sex, the illegal sexual intercourse. I'd be like omfgwtfbbq, fucking save me, i'm dying. This is bad, very, very...bad. What melancholy, what grostesque, what a ludicrous sight, what absurdity.

And i'm happy for an hour today, because i understood math lesson, and that's a miracle, i know it's easy for you, don't tell me that, you'll shatter my fragile heart, and it'll go 'piang, piang, piang, piang...' Noo, that's very evil. And nao, i shall leave this blawg, and go sleep after just waking up 30 minutes ago, or study, or finish meh math homework. I'm feel so guai today, i got enlightened by p3ari3 yesterday night. Heh. =]

EDIT: How many girls have i made asking me who's p3ari3?

2006-09-14T00:11:00.000+08:00

A short introduction of my brother.

This thang is bloody famous, so i've decided to do an analysis on my dick.

1. full name: Big Willy/ Bigger Penny
2. name backwards: Willy's Big / Penny's Bigger
3. were you named after someone: lohguanzhi's dick
4. meaning of name: It simply means, my willy/dick is big
5. nickname: 12inches/Willy/Bigbig/Longlong/Stiffstiff/Pennypenny
7. D.O.B: 19th OCTOBER.
8. place of birth: Between lohguanzhi's legs
9. nationality: Long-long-rean
10. current location: Between lohguanzhi's legs
11. star sign: la Bra
12.religion: freethinker
13. height: Approximately 12.35 inches
14. weight: 500 grams w/o err
15. shoe size: Sadly, i don't have legs
16. hair colour: Black, Curly
17. eye colour: Aint no eyes, mademoiselle
18. who do (people say) you look like: A dick
19. innie or outtie: In and out, preferably
20. leftie or rightie: Centre
21. gay, straight, bi or others: Straight and long
22. best friends: Garage, Amazon Forest
23. best friend you trust most: Garage
24. favourite pals: Garage
25. best friend of opposite sex: Garage
26. best buddies: Garage
27. boyfriend or girlfriend: Garage
28. crush: Millions
29. parents: I love them for giving me a 12 inches.
30. worst enemy: That blooded ang-moh lang with 90 inches.
31. favourite online guy: Webcam
32. favourite online girl: Webcam
34. advice friend: Garage
35. loudest friend: Garage's owner
36. person you cry with: My dickhead
37. any sisters: I'm just a little brother
38. any brothers: I want a little brother, because i'm a little brother
39. any pets: Amazon Forest in Bonsai 101
40. any disease: Young raging hormones
41. pagers: They make nice vibrators
42. personal phone line: No free sex, don't call me please
43. cell phone: They make better vibrators
45. pool or hot tub: Pool has much more space for strenous activities
46. a car: Mine's 12 inches currently
47. your personality: Long, stiff, hard, 12 inches
48. driving: My steering skills are first class
49. room: Hotels, Motels
50. whats missing: Condoms
51. school: XYZ school
52. bed colour: Colourless
53. relationship with parents: Great
54. believe in yourself: I'm cuter than sow
55. believe in love at first sight: NO
56. good listener: Good driver
57. get along well with parents: Excellent
58. save email conversations: I wish i had fingers, another alternative
59. pray: That i'll hook up more often
60. believe in reincarnation: I often die and stand up again, is that counted
61. make fun of people: Ridiculate guys with small brothers
62. like to talk on the phone: No
63. want to get married: Yes
64. like to drive: Yes
65. motion sickness: I take control of everything perfectly
66. eat stem of brocoli: I'm not a gay
67. eat chicken with fork: I'm much sharper than a fork
68. dream in colour: Yeah, 625k colour system, generates perfect in-bed wetdreams
69. type with your fingers on home role: No, dick role
70. sleep with stuff animals: Only sleeps with girls
71. next to you: Balls
72. on the walls of your room: One blank wall
73. on your mousepad: Sanitary pads
74. dream car: Mine's good enough
75. dream date: 19th OCTOBER
76. dream honeymoon spot: Garage
77. dream husband or wife: Many many garage
78. bedtime: No, bedtime's meant for kiddies
79. under your bed: Cool stuffs
80. single most important question: How long is 12 inches
81. bad time of a day: No spikey hair in school
82. your worst fear: Amazon forest gets mass deforestation and soil erosion happens subsequently
83. the weather is: Hot like me
84. time: 12:30AM, time for some fun
85. date: September 14, but OCTOBER 19th's more important
86. best trick did on someone: A: Why are you so long
12inches: Cause if i'm short like you i'd castrate myself
87. theme song: www.mr-L.blogspot.com
88. hardest thing about growing up: My young raging hormones
89. funniest experience: Making you read this bullshit
90. scariest experience: You cursing me in my tagboard
91. silliest thing you have ever said: Lying in this bloody shit quiz
93. worst feeling: You not tagging/visiting me
94. best feeling in the world: You tagging and visiting me
95. This question is redundant and has thus been removed

Oh, thy lord, i'm just so bored.

2006-09-12T17:23:00.000+08:00

I'm sick, not pervertic, but really sick.

I'm sick sick sick, not pervertic. My nose's as red as rudolf's, my eye's blod-shot as thou they're thawed, seems like my finger's trembling as thou they're mumbling. Oh save me my lord, thy lohguanzhi's thee gawd!

I worship myself.

Nononono, i can't go to school tmr. My nose's flowing like a fountain. And i'm suffering from a slight headache, prolly menstruation's causing it, i'm ae charbo, okay.

I'm suffering from this disease called, thy lohguanzhi's bird-bird flu, or otherwise known as bird^2 syndrome. Bird^2 actually means bird x bird, or bird multiply bird, and can be written as birdbird in a mathematical statement, and in english, it's written bird-bird, so this is getting nowhere. The cause of my disease is actually because of my bird, being too long, 12 inches. I wonder how xiao-neng's doing with his 48 inches. Omfg, if i'm having a terrible time now, he must be dying. Hooray! Jkjk.

HEY, i just made an important discovery, 48 divided by 12 is 4. So, theoretically, xiao-neng should be suffering 4 times worse than me. So, by rights, if i lose a kidney, he'll lose 2 kidneys and both his lungs! HEH! This is so cool.

Okay, i can't type anymore. I'll prolly die if i drag this. I'm feeling so terri-gi-ble. omfgwtfbbq!

Uhm, if there's a need for me, sms me or email me, both forms of contacting me would only be avaliable only when i get online, so it's rather redundant, but yeah, if you're tad desperate.

EDIT: I must add this on to irritate sow, sow yo, yoyo sow, blah sow. do rae mi fah SOW.

2006-09-11T22:48:00.000+08:00

Literature taught me irony.

I know; i didn't blawged for 2 days. And here's something i took from my olde' blog that only one person has read from it, sow.

These are the model answers for Literature commons.

1 From the excerpt above, where do you think Troy was?
Troy was in the book 'Shadows of the Beast' by Maggie Pearson.

2 Who was the woman Troy was talking to? What was her relationship to Troy?
Troy was talking to someone, they had a secret affair and i cannot tell you about it.

3 Who did Troy think the phonecall was made to? What did Troy do when he heard the call?
Troy thought that he was going to be sold to a brothel to be a gigolo when he heard that call. He got excited and begun doing a striptease.

4 Who was the woman [Mrs Fitzsimmon] actually talking to?
She was talking to Maggie Pearson asking her to remove Troy from her book because Troy threatened to sexually harrass her.

5 Explain what had happened to Troy and his memory.
Troy lost his harddrive and his memory space was gone along with it.

6 Trace the events that led to Troy's running off to look for his father.
Maggie Pearson tried to give Troy a written blow-job, and Troy got scared.
*note: written blow-job means to do a blow-job through a pen and a paper, and your mind.*

7 How did Troy finally remember his father's death?
He cheated by bribing Maggie Pearson into telling him.

8 Explain in detail what caused the accident that killed Troy's father?
Maggie Pearson used a pen and killed his father.

9 Give two adjectives to describe Stan Mayhew. Support each adjective with an explanation and a piece of evidence from the text*. An example has been given to you.*note that when they say from the text, they do not mean from the text, cos the extract aint got no shit.*
Stan Mayhew is hot and sexy. See him in person, you'll get what i mean, that's evidence.

(c) copyright hodderliterature, author of post aint no liable for any shit. thank you.

EDIT: Craving for more, here's a monologue.

WARNINGGGGG:

This is a monologue! All contents are meant to be fictional, any resemblance to anyone, whether Tom, Dick's, (or) Hairy, dead or alive, thou shall not be liable. Thank you for your co-operation

What in brothel is happening?! Am I dead or am i alive?! Am i Troy dreaming that I'm Wiglaf or the other way round? I dont wanna be Wiglaf, his brudder's only 0.5 inches long! I think he's a Korean***! Why do I have so many questions in my head? Dad?! Where are you, dad?! I need you now! Someone, please, please put a bulb on my head, why am I here, I want to be at a brothel! Where am I?! Why can't I have wet-dreams?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!!111 Dad, Why is mom telling me that you have left us for good with a hooker who paid you 12 bucks, I don't believe her! She's lying, she's not my mother, she's a poser, FAKER, Sheila the FAKER. Why did all these have to happen on me?! Out of the 6.562billion population on earth*, WHY, ME? Dad, speak to me, dad...stop playing hide-n-seek. Where's my lil brudder?! I don't know who to trust, i dont know who's lying and who's not! Dad, come home and cut off Donald's pee-pee****, I SAW THEM LAST NIGHT AND THEY'RE 60 INCHES** LONG, URGH I'M SO JEALOUS, DAD!

*note that everyday some idiots die, so the world's population's rounded off to lohguanzhi's theorem, i'm gnna die this nov, stay tuned.
**That's about as long as...your sofa, or even longer, i think.
***Figures based on XIAO-NENG and his theory.
****Refers to dick.

2006-09-09T20:09:00.000+08:00

Hmphhs! <-- I'm gay! :D

I just realised, sohkhoon and amandatan reads my blog but never tags, nooooo T.T, thanks for linking me anyway. =x I've just made you 2 famous! :D

2006-09-09T19:58:00.000+08:00

I apologize(s/d/nothing) to myself.

I know i have alot of spelling errors, cause i type too ridickcuteleslick fast. Oh my budhha! I didnt know ridiculously can form 4 sick words! Heh. See what i mean, i type too fast. And for the post below, it's spelt relevance, not relavance, i was just lazy to go edit it, so yep. GOO find it yourself.

And i seriously think my hair's nice today. It's so...spiky. HEHEHEHE. Too bad can't keep fringes, if not i can look like a girl, cause i'm gay! =D

GUYS WITH FRINGES ARE GAY, ADMIT IT. I'M INSULTING ALL OF YOU OUT THERE, HHEHEHHE, YOU KNOW, GUYS WHOSE SCHOOL ALLOWS EM TO KEEP FRINGES YEAH.

2006-09-09T19:32:00.000+08:00

Teach me how to concentrate.

I need to study for my darn EOY, but i can't concentrate. I seem to have a fetish for wearing spectacles and studying, yes, fetish. Not sexual fantasy, just a lingo from the lohguanzhi theorem.

Here's my dalaopo; HEH, SOMEONE bought it for me, i paid, thou, kind lol. Yeah man, this guy zilian'd while studying. No good, especially for guys. But i'm a gay, so nevermind. Zilian-ing for gays are good, okay.

Here's my concubine a.k.a second mistress, you can't really see it under adobe photoshop's filtered image, but squint if you must. Squint your eyes, not your private parts, you wussy. ANd yeah, i was naked while i took that picture. It's obscene it you're living in the past, it's not if you're living in 2006. So girls, don't go EEE in my tagboard, thank you. Althou EEE's cute and i use it when i feel an extreme surge of oestrogen hormone levels, i still don't like it, cause it's so EEE, oh man!

Anyway, all my images are filtered under Adobe's cutout filter, if you must find it, go under the filter section, and under the sub-section, hover your mousey-mouse over sub-section, 'artistic,' afterwhich, go to the sub-sub-section under 'cutout.' I went sub-sub on purpose, it's cute and i'm gay. Which has totally no relavance in any sort.

And xiao-neng's pissed at me for writing up about his 16 inches, sorry, i thought that 16 inches are something a man should be proud of, of course, we all know after errection it's 48 inches, but in any case, i thought it'll be something you're proud of, and i featured you in one of my blog posts. Eh, but you don't have to over-react, unless it's a fake. Heh, or you really go do cock-job with silicon gel. New trend seh!

Anyway, it's amazing how people take their time and read my posts, cause i purposely drag everything and make it exceedingly hard to comprehend and read, and people still read, but my counter's moving so slow, i'm so sad. No one tags, xiao-neng didnt tag, fuck you. Hah, you identified yourself as a lohguanzhi's blog reader, but you didn't tag, wtfffffff! Moreeeee visits, moreeeeee tags, moreeee posts. Less visits, less tags, no posts, end of story. Heh, i'm blackmailing again, shhh. Don't sue me! I wonder why all my posts have the phrase, ' Dont sue me!' Maybe i should change it to, 'HEY, dont bill me!'

I'm gnna change topic at a rate of 60km/h and to a degree of 180. Which means i'm gnna do something stupid. But it's not stupid, i'm just trying to change topic from a topic and both topics have no relavance at all. But then again, i suddenly forgot what i wanted to change the topic to, darn it. And by the way, i just found this STINKING MOSQUITO BITING ME, NO WONDER IT'S SO ITCHY. Oh yeah, i killed it, bloody corpse, i forgot whats the english word for a dead animal body, it starts with a 'd', darn, no, the word's not darn, the dead animal body thing starts with a 'd.' Someone tell me? My memory's seriously failing on me, i'm not kidding, yeah, makes sense, my name's not kidding, my name's lohguanzhi and everybody knows that. Maybe it's amnesia, prolly dementia, or even...nepotism! But nepotism's not something related to memory failing...but i hate that loser who practices nepotism anw. THAT LOSERZXS. Oh brudder, i didn't mention who who boo-hoo-hoo.

I woke up at 7am, and i have been staring at the book and i've learnt nothing, absolutely nothing, whoa, time flies, it's been 12 hours already, cool. I've just came online to blawg, cause im bored. And now, adios, arrivederci, au revoir, tata, sayonara, zaijian, byebye, farewell, goodbye, bb, b, bbbbbbb!

Oh yeah, i need to say this, i've found out 1 + 1 = 2!! HOW COOL IS THAT OMGZXS.

2006-09-08T19:23:00.000+08:00

I'm sad.

I don't like insensitive, imbecile morons who irritates me when you're tired, just wanting a bloody rest. Go on, pester me, see what i'll do, moron without morals.

Today's a bloody waiting day, i wasted my life waiting, waiting, and nothing but waiting. Kns.

I went ice-skating alone today. Cause some guys declined to be named, fearing they might be haunted down. Only went for 2 hours cause some guy said we're paying a low rate for a day but turns out he was wrong. Too bad, everything just went wrong for me today, I shall sleep after i blog and get my surprise tmr, everyday's a surprise, cause you don't know what happens the day after, isn't it. My day's shit today.

I fell down twice today, and i wet my pants, the ice had to melt so fast. The first time i fell, this guy in front of me fell backwards and i wanted to support him, ended up, i fell with him and his arse squashed my dick, bloody hell. The second time i fell, I dont know what happened. Cause i was like trying to skate my way out of the crowd and suddenly i trip onto some random guy's blades and fell, i think. But someone insists it's because he kicked up water, and i fell. And i want to award a nobel prize to this particular spot in the ice-skating rink. It made someone fell more than 5 times and me, 2 times. It's the spot nearest to the entrance, after the portion covered by training grounds. It's bloody slippery in there. And some girl had to hold on to my dick for support when she almost fell over, darn, i know 12 inches' good, but need not be so desperate in a public area, besides, it's a really private part, and i'm no gigolo. I still want my chastity, okay. And she zoomed away right after doing that, that's not being responsible and hit-and-run's an offence in Singapore.

After everything, my pants were drenched, and i'm telling you, even if i pissed on my pants, it'd not be that wet. And when i, the loner, went down to the first storey of JEC, some random bitch pointed my jeans to her son-of-a-bitch, and said, ' Look at that gor-gor's pants, so wet, cannot piss on your pants okay.' Oh, holy mother, teach that whore how to grow a brain in her skull, if she even knows what's a skull, or even what's a head. I can't believe neanderthal's still exists, c'mon, this is the period of homo sapiens, get a time-machine and go back to your age, where you shit and leave your ass un-wiped, where you eat like a dog, where you make love anywhere when your raging hormones acts up.

I took a bus back home, how smart i was, i know how to take a bus, and i took buses since i was 1. Anw, i saw this xyz company's executive on a bus, he's rather famous, so i know him. He was so impatient while on the bus, and it's really funny to see executives on buses. Their face gets real red when the bus stopping button starts going, 'ding-dong~' And their facial expression's priceless. Execs tend to find the 'best' seats, even though all seats are the same. They move about every stop, like there's gold in that particular seat.

I bet that poor exec got his car bumper owned by another car's. Else his wife drove his car, perhaps a Mercedes SLR, and went for shopping at some random place, leaving him no choice but to take public transport, you may ask, why not taxi? I'd ask, how'd i know, i'm not an executive.

Anw, i walked home, and my leg's pain. The man's old already. Darn. And i turned on my comp, just to get online to talk to some particular imbecile moron, and it had to curse me, insult me, slander me, just when i was so bloody tired. Who cares. I'm not bothered, go away i shall.

I'm not coming online tmr and on sunday, i'll prolly be mugging some useless crap that i'll forget maybe a decade later. Exams are a brudder, and have absolutely no point, at all. I added at all, just to emphasize on absolutely.

2006-09-07T18:32:00.000+08:00

ThEEEE love-forlon; and thy long-long post.

Sian 1^2/4 x {14 x [5(9 x 7^y^7)]. Sian sian sian sian sian. I'm so bored and love-forlon, ow, my hhartts huurttts luhhs. HEES, I'm A TWITT luhhs, hmmphs. See! How well i can actually impersonate a fellow twit! Hah, I'm a born-forger, living to plagiarize!

Oh yeah, i've thought it over, mr-L 's just a mnemonic for me, if you want to actually refer it to as mr-("loser"), i shall be real magnanimous and let it be. I'm a great guy, oh, what chivalry does thy hath! Anyway, my reason for allowing losers to turn my url into a loser's url is because, if everyone's a winner, and there's no losers, what fun would there be?! I bring fun, joy, and laughter to everyone, so i'll be Loser the Great IV, just for the sake of being one, yeah. FUN, JOY AND LAUGHTER; i wonder who i quoted that from, eh, sow.

MUZHU, MUZHU, MUZHU, sounds like MUTHU! Hahahah!! Eh, I'm not being a racist, okay. Don't sue me, it's just a...something. It's actually finding words that rhymes, so cannot blame me, okay!

SIGH, hmmm. HMMM, sigh. Hmm, sigh sounds like SAI! Which means SHIT. NICE!

I'm so random; but i know you love me for my random-ness, I'm being lovedddd =D HEY, if im being loved, how come i'm love-forlon'd? Eh, someone, explain to me?

Anw, that ("the following content is strictly not suitable for kids, if you're a kid, get lost.") sucker, fucker, gigolo, mother-fucker, son of a bitch, son of a gun, duck, bastard, whore, slut, harlot, prostitute, chicken, still havent return me my iPod, i need music! I can't survive without a bloody MP3. If you're that whore, return it to me, darn. Now i have to get another MP3, and this is being wasteful, I'm an environmentalist, lol, cannnnnot pollute environment by changing MP3s everyday, okay!

I'm getting a Creative ZEN V Plus, It's either the 2GB model or the 1GB model, i wanted to get Creative's ZEN Vision:M, but it's 30GB, and i don't need so much file size, the worst scenario, it gets stolen again. I'll be really pissed and i'll string out that guy's testicle, dry them till they dehydrate and look like black raisins, destroy his elephant trunk by stuffing it into a mini vacuum cleaner, then sucking the shits out of it, force cement into his anal...make it dry...and see him keep his shit in his rectum, not forgetting the face, i'll brand the words, ' I'm a loser, i'm a property of mr-L, i'm a slave, i have no balls, i lost my fatherhood' on your face. But rest assured, i won't touch the other parts of your body, 'cept i'll chop off your fingers and toes, i'll be real kind and let you keep your bloody palm and heels. But hey...how am i going to find out who that guy is? Well, there's something called the satellite tracking device, one that cannot be stomped on, cannot be destroyed, unless you fly to space and destroy that particular satellite, then...it's not really my problem from that part onwards, you'll get sued, jailed, caned and mati inside that cute cute cell, and when you're horny, you won't get to find prostitutes from geylang, you'll do it yourself, afterall, you're a whore. Heh, i'm psychotic. =]

Study brings pressure afterall, eh?

HEY, i just realised, i only talked about how i'll torture a guy, not a girl! HEH! You'll prolly die after reading this post, but anyway, i'll tell you how i'll torture a girl. I'll say, kids don't read, cause it's rated R21: Extreme Violence. But kids are inquisitive, so they'll scroll down anyway, fuck them. Lol. Girls, i'll just strip them and crucify them, and then mutilate them! This is so psychotic, teaching people how to kill people. AH, nevermind, i'm just pissed over the loss of my babeh iPoddy.

Anw, i talked about wanting to buy a Creative ZEN V Plus, what makes me feel like buying it? Cause IMO, it's prolly the best Creative creation, in terms of, price, functions, style. It's real cheap, with the 2GB model costing around $229 SING dollars, really competitive price, compared to that stinky iPod nano, argh, im still pissed over my loss, i'm love-forlon'd! My ipoddy! Functions, hmm...if my memory ain't failing me, it has Mp3 playing function, which is duh, short video playbacks, FM Tuner, pictures viewing...and a voice recorder, all packed in 1GB, 2GB or 4GB models!

Heh, this model might as well replace the iPod nano, it's much more worth it, but in terms of simplicity, iPod still reigns, but who cares, if you're getting something, get the better one, but only judge MP3s of the same size, same goes for look for someone your own size! If you're gnna compare my havent bought new MP3 with a iPod 30GB, darn you, it's way off. You're asking me to fight my 2 year old juvenile but not immature babeh with a 30 year old sick, weakly adult, it'll still be a losing chip, darn. So don't compare, unless you're telling me stuffs like Sandisk's SANSA, or SAMSUNG's YP-Z5. But the SAMSUNG YP-Z5's real cool, 35 hours of music playback! My new havent bought MP3 only plays music for 14 hours, according to creative's ratings, but other web labs tested it and the results shows around 16 hours of playback, hell cool! I'm getting it, anw. Someday...

Sigh, i had training today. T.tennis training, yeah T.t, looks like a guy crying, that's how sad it is. Nooo! The hall is hot hot hot, and my shirt's wet wet wet, i'm sweating like a running tap. It doesn't ryhme, darn. And i still have my itch disease syndrome after having a spring cleaning session yesterday, and i'm sweating and itching like a mad-cow. And my leg hurts. Bloody knee. I want to push my op earlier, but the doc's booked, darn. I want it before my birthday =]

Back to t.tennis, i realise after not doing excercise for like 1 week, cause i broke my wrist and my calves and my knee, cant really go anywhere. Ha! I lost my stamina and i've gained weight! YES! I, LOHGUANZHI GAINED WEIGHT. I'm so proud of myself. Heh! Anw, training sucks. I don't like being in doubles, singles better, doubles is like sissy-shooting-a-rifle. I hit, he siam, he hit, i siam, the cycle's so lamed. I bled halfway thru training, cause of my bloody spring cleaning shit, the part of my leg where my table hit me started bleeding again. Halfway thru a match, i had menstration, how nice! MENSTRUATIONZXS, noooooo! Oestrogen- level- too- high! Gagagaga! Everyone was laughing at me, cause i had menstruation =[ SOMEONE even offered me a sanitary pad, but i asked for a tampon, he don't have, darn it. Eh, wait a minute, how come he carry sanitary pad to school when he's a guy! HORHOR, you have menstruation! Lol! Hey, i'm sick, i'm talking about menstruation! Anw, for girls who blindly use the word menstruation, i'm telling you it actually derives from latin. I mean, which idiot don't know english's from latin. But the word menstrual actually means, monthly, in french. That's something random. I'm filling you with knowledge, thank me for that.

And after training, i heaved a sigh of relief and went to carry the barricades back into the store where i have to see those bloody dance equipments which made me bled just 2 days ago, darn. I single-handledly carried all the barricades, which totals to about 70kg. Lol, random figure, don't blame me. Seriously, i think it's more than that. And after i've finished placing the tables and barricades into the store, t.tennis people still havent do PT! Imagine how quick i was! =D

I finished 6 rounds of side jumps, and 40 push-ups, with a broken wrist, torn calves and a bloody knee. I rock! Normal PT 's 3 rounds side, 20 push ups. 20 sit ups. =}

And when i went home, i went into the bathroom, and guess what i did, i stripped and bathed! I had to bathe like 4 times to get myself shuang enough to leave the bathroom, darn, i wasted resources! Noooo! Who cares, lol. By the time i went out, my leg was numb, and i had a lay my petite body measuring 176cm on my bed. I had to emphasize on the 176cm, dont blame me.

And since they weren't anyone at home, i ate in my room. And i almost dropped my freshly squeezed honeydew drink, and someone blamed me on msn for not dropping it. Ah, evil. Someone, identify yourself on tagboard blackblue&white, you know, that cbawx over there >>

I'm too bored. I don't feel like continuing this long nong post anymore, baibai. =]

2006-09-06T23:16:00.000+08:00

Spring cleaning made my arse split into 2 parts, one for you, one for me.

Yay, i had sprint cleaning today. My room's in a total mess and i can't study in total mess(es). So, your incredibly-shuai-ge did a session of spring cleaning today that lasted 8 hours, omfgqtfbbq, i did CIP! Why no points, blame ms yeo. !@#$% yoyo. I didnt say anything. You didnt see anything. Why must my cleaning of my room be part of CIP? Well, if i clean my room, i'll have a nice nice room, i have a nice nice room, i have nice nice mood, i have nice nice mood, you have nice nice day, you have nice nice day, everyone have nice nice day, so indirectly, i helped many many people. Must credit me, okay. Whoa, i sound like a primary one typing today, just felt so emo&ego and im feeling like a cheem-pants-ji.

This time's spring cleaning's not bad, i did everything and only bled 5 times, unlike my previous record of 16. Mainly because the cupboards, my decos all fall onto me. I know im hot and my stuff die for me, but they shouldn't go on a suicide mission...my hot-ness is not worth your desperation, aw. I sneezed a total of, uh...1...2...3...what comes after 3? Darn i forgot...sorry my math sucks and eventually when my IQ passes 50 i'll find out that 4 comes after 3, so yeah. Wait till my IQ increases, thanks.

Oh yeah, did i mention i was naked when i'm doing my spring cleaning, yeah, i was wearing the shirt with the word, 'here stands a naked man wearing a shirt that writes naked.' How cool was that. I shall take a picture of my nice shirt sometime, i bet loads of horny people would love to see em.

I managed to clear 14 tonnes of rubbish from my room and helped add to the load of singapore's only pathetic landfill, i did such a nice contribution, i should be rewarded! Ah, nvm, thou shall not be so petty.

My room's so cool now, but it's halved -.- some extras went to cement my 1st floor, now i only have a second floor to my room, darn.

Eh, i made my temporary table out of adidas shoeboxes, pro right. I just threw my table away cause it made me bleed, i wonder why i did that. Nevermind, IKEA does 30min deliveries, so who cares. =D

I forgot what i wanted to blog about, so this blog post is halved! OH YEAH, i did wanted to mention my cupboard fell on my arse and it bled and split into 2 halves, everything's so halvy today, even the moon's halved! NICE.

Replies to tag.

}ghost:nothing
GZ: HAHA! OKAY NOTHING.
}bitch:something
GZ: HAHA! OKAY T.T

Okay, no one tags me, how nice. Come my blog don't tag. Everyy0nnes buweeis miies luhhs. l0ls.

2006-09-06T12:24:00.000+08:00

I don't want to get sued.

I wanted to post something about © 2006 Creative Technology Ltd. All rights reserved, but i'm scared of getting sued, i could have just typed CREATIVE, but I don't want to get sued for using their creative name, sorry, no post today, don't blame me. I wanted to write why i want to get creative mp3(s) instead, but...due to some legal rights, i'll say no.

© 2006 Creative Technology Ltd. All rights reserved

("Sidenote: My reasons for doing so is because i don't have $100million to pay them. Yes, I'm no millionaire, sorry, dont sue me please. Go find someone else to sue. Im scared.")

2006-09-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

Shin-Chan did say he should grow some ball-hair, didn't he?

Ha! I finally found an english version of crayon shin-chan!

Here's it! :D

2006-09-05T19:43:00.000+08:00

I am a hero, L's does not stand for loser, XIAO-neng and his self-proclaimed 16 inches dicky.

Yo, and there goes yoyoyo, i'm feeling cold today, there's a blizzard out there and i got struck by an avalanche. So, my post is gnna be real cool. Cool, literally.

I'm a hero cause i am one, don't ask me why, i'm not telling you. I went for training today with a broken wrist, praise me for that. Not forgetting my torn left calf muscle and the fucking dance trampoline made my toe bleed, dancers have no sense of responsibility, they don't bother keeping their stuffs properly, and i'm insulting everyone of them right now, and my sixth sense tells me i'm going to get flamed badly for a fact. That's life, oh well.

Dancers always keep their props lying around, making it hard for us table tennis people to keep our equipments, this problem has persisted for as long as i have been in this school called xyz. I cannot fucking stand them, we table tennis people have to shift your props for you losers before we can remove those bloody tables, and just today your trampoline landed on my toe and made me bleed, losers.

Sorry, I'm a hater, dont blame me.

LAOPEH KNOW LAOPEH SIBEI BHB OKAY =D

The section below is porn, don't read it if you can't take it, im not liable for any erotic stuffs that happens to you after reading it. Why am i writing this when i know humans are born with a mind of curiosity and normal humans would surely scroll down?

Yo, i'm featuring xiao-neng today, xiao-neng! Happy not? =]

By the way, mr-L does not stand for mr loser, okay, xiao-lun/neng?

Xiao-neng just told everyone his little dicky is 16 inches long,

Xiao-neng: EH, GZ, your dick 12 inches mine 16 inches leh! * points at dick *
GZ: That's the size of an elephant trunk.
GZ: My dick's only 12 inches when errected.
Xiao-neng: WTF, mine's 16 inches before errection and 48-inches after errection, the size of plasma TV! Hahahahah!
GZ: Lol, my dick can enter your mouth and come out from your anus.
Xiao-neng: !!!
GZ: How you coil up your dick, so long. Mine just turn 3 rounds can le.
GZ: By the way, your boxers are real sexy.
Xiao-neng: *Sprays deodorant onto his 16-inches.*
Xiao-neng: *Didnt answer the keeping his dick part and changes topic* Eh, you know, koreans dickys are 0.5inches-2inches long, cheena dickys are 2inches-4inches long, and american dickys are 4-6inches long!
Random guy: Eh, you go fuck those guys isit, how you know so much?
Xiao-neng: Discovery channel got show ma! Hahahahah!
GZ: I didnt knew porn was so publicly broadcasted...

Sorry, i can't remember.

My television at home is only like, 20+ inches? I dont know, seriously, if the size is somehow too small, don't blame me, thanks. I boast a 12-inches dicky. Xiao-neng boasts a 16-inches. Somehow, the girl who has sex with him'll be super unlucky, she'll be dead before we know it. Eh, but xiao-neng, you got put silicon gel into your dick to make it 16 inches bo, you go do dick job ah, lol. People boob job, you dick job, whoa, new trend, mai siao leh lol.

Aiyah, im darn bored, so can't blame me for my kns post. =]

2006-09-05T00:33:00.000+08:00

Sorry, i fell asleep and R.I.P Steve.

Sorry, i fell asleep while in the midst of getting spammed on MSN around 6+. I know it's funny, but i'm really tired. I didn't really got to sleep the night before, and I had to rush to school early in the morning, so yeah. Cause i woke up only to find myself getting spammed here and there. Okayyy, all went offline by the time i woke; no one gave me a chance to exprain myself, oops =]

put a turtle on your msn nick; as a sign of respect

Here're some links, read them yourself;

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060904/ap_on_en_tv/obit_irwin
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14663786/
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/09/04/australia.irwin/index.html

2006-09-04T12:44:00.000+08:00

Wasting my time to criticise humans and myself.

Darn, seems like old habits are hard to change. I tried signing in to blogger just now and i can't find this blog; and i saw the user id i used to login, the www.futurebarrister.blogspot.com 's id -.-

Okay, put that aside, and talk about how boring school was. Overslept today again, cause i was watching doraemon yesterday till 5am, eh, i'm gayyye luhhs, carnntt blamee miies luhhs. =]

It's been like 5 years since i've last watched that gayarse show. OH MAN, i just typed the word gayarse and my chandeliers blew, no more lights, noooooo!

Seriously, chemistry's getting sucky, and i've thought i grapse the fundamental rule of it. Seems like i was wrong, eh. Okay, i was doing juvenile colloquial conversation with myself, so ignore. So i've wasted 2 hours of my life in school today, of which 40 minutes was used to wait for the teacher and another 87 minutes used for teacher's everyday preaching session, darn, my math sucks, i just realised 87 + 40 not equals to 120. Go add them up yourself, i'm sure you'd get 127 minutes if your math ain't sucky like mine. But whee, i've just figured it out for you, oh great, i've drained approximately 1721 brain cells doing that, which can light-up a dim bulb for 5 seconds, that's the lohguanzhi theorem, ignore, thanks.

Chemical formulas suck, understand SO4OH-; i doubt you do, cause i made that up. it goes like sodium oxide in the lohguanzhi's menstrual table, period, menstrual, different words, same usage, i figured that out too. Im sick, don't comment on that, thank you.

Having wasted 120/365x13x1^9 of my life till now, no one wants to play basketball, cause...some people siamm'd to perth. And there weren't any leather balls, darn, and that leaves me alone, stuck outside my house, cause my family's going crazy of hyunbin somewhere, and i'm left alone outside my house, and i went to KFC to have a loner meal, i'm sucha introverted guy. And it's bad. I tried my best to eat slowly, but i've reached the cap in like...an hour. And my mother said she'll be back by 11, but i'm still stuck in KFC at 11, and they're still at somewhere, somehow.

I got utterly sick of eating KFC and i left, and held the door for 2 ladies, and i heard, merci monsieur. yay, Singaporeans aren't that ill-mannered afterall. My first thank you in days, at least there's a purpose in life, listening to thank you(s) aren't that bad, really. Singapore's just too pathetic, filled with uncouth barbaric ill-mannered...wastrels like me. I was commenting on myself and no one else, please note. I'm not going to get myself liable for such a defamatory statement.

But my family was still going crazy over that korea thang...and i went to big bookshop, just to get a book to waste my time. I wanted to get a novel, but i figured it was too boring to read a novel when i'm feeling so left-out. I went to get archie's digest instead. Whee, old books are nice. And i stayed alone under a HDB block near somewhere, where no one really walks past, so i could be left alone from a human's glance of inquisitivity. I hate people staring at me, i know i'm uber dashing, but save/safe/seive the attention for yourself, thanks.

...And i laughed my arse off with the book for another hour, sigh, life's boring. And i decided that i should get a magazine, but there's a whore in front of the cover page who's wearing bikinis. And that magazine was supposed to be one that features IT stuff, i wonder, what relavance has IT and women cladded in bikinis have. It's really stupid for editors to add such pictures and spoil the image of their own magazine. And i decided not to get that particular shit, i didnt want the stare of curiosity a.k.a glance of inquisitivity. Some ticopeks will think that's some porn magazines like, FHM, Maxim and try to borrow it from me to read it. And when they find out it's tech, they'll go CEH and throw the mag in my face.

That always happens, typical ticopeks.

And when i was walking around in central, wasting my time, i noticed, people have itchy hands. They must touch anything they see in shops, that goes the same with sandals, lingerie, and even condoms, i bet they think it's sweets like many people thought it was when they were kids. Their hands must go out as thou as they're reaching out for the sky~ ohhh~; and they'll go seemingly as thou their orgasm's coming. I wonder, does fiddling with stuffs makes you go that high? It's really stupid, spreading your own germs onto products other people'll buy, and maybe they're buying it for you, buying back your own germs you gave out free sounds stupid.

And some people, whose hands are not so itchy, can't wait to get things like beverages out of their hands, and they just leave it lying around, even on altars, yeah, altars, i cannot imagine what that thang did to you that you must do this, and there's a garbage bin in front of him, perhaps, 5 metres away, lazy bum. Yeah, i litter too, but mine's the more conventional way of littering, l0l. It means im fertilising the ground as i litter, i sometimes dump paper-related stuff onto grass fields that no one walks on. It decomposes and serves as a good fertiliser, and this is what i call finding excuses for myself. =]

I feel like watching doraemon again :s, and i want to talk to that girl who's still in Malaysia now! Crap with me darn. Blah, forget it. I'm going to waste my time again, i just have no mood for anything. By the way, i love that slalom video just 2 posts below.

EDIT: I know it's a long post, bear with it, it's not my fault if you want to read it, eh?

EDIT^2: Okay, second edit, lol. A picture of a fugging dashing guy i saw today. =D

And yes, i've forgot to edit the other post, it writes no pictures were hurt during the process of photoshopping, it's supposed to be, no pictures were harmed, ha.

And now i'm off to stare at the wall, but that guy's uber dashing, EH?! You know...that guy with 12 inches. Au revoir, monsieur/mademoiselle/homosexuals.

EDIT^3: OKAY! I added homosexuals cause i thought i shouldn't be a sexist and not say byebye to them cause they outkasted. So now i've proved that i'm not a sexist; =]

2006-09-03T14:54:00.000+08:00

An excuse to show you my picture.

I've been rushing my blog so slowly that, i've forgotten all about credits, archives and links. Nevermind, i shall omit the credits and perhaps the links section, archives will come in later, prolly after EOY =[

And here's another picture of shuai-ge for you, cause you've read another post! =]

And yes, all the pictures were photoshopped. No pictures were hurt during the process, rest assured. But that guy sibei shuai right! Right! Right!?

2006-09-03T14:29:00.000+08:00

Gothic, Slalom, Grandpere and the kidnap of the cute guy.

I'm feeling so gothic today.

I've been wearing black shirt, black pants, black undies, and prolly black bra if i had black boobs. Oh yeah, i forgot to mention, my hair's black, too.

I'm so in-to slalom skating now. It's like, inline skating dance. And it feels so...incredible. Ignore me, i'm just self-entertaining. I just hate EOY, how nice, i want to study but it seems like, i cant concentrate on books for more then 30 seconds straight.

EDIT: People're asking me, 'EH, WTF IS SLALOM SEH.' So, I've been telling people, 'EH, WTF IS DICTIONARY SEH.' Nevermind, i'm feeling so kind today that you'd just have to click
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=slalom&x=27&y=4 to find out.

EDIT^2: YES I KNOW IM IRRITATING, ever-editing posts, here's an artistic video on slalom, so yeah. Wait for it to load, need me teach you; call me. But please, make more appointments by ramming your head against the wall, im a busy man, okay?

And yeah, i've spent my whole day yesterday modifying my blades so that it'll be slalom-compatible. And i've removed almost everything and changed everything except for the wheels. I need, 4 pairs of new wheels darn. How nice, they costs like, $90. But the worse thing is, i have to walk out of my house to get them! I'm too lazy for that! Unless those darn SMRT thangs let me blade my way into a train, i doubt i'll be getting new wheels soon, it's just too tough for me to walk to the station, need we say, buy a wheel, or even 8 wheels.

I think i've been modifying my blades for like 5 hours, and i went online around...10pm? But...sow's not online. How nice. And i have this sudden urge to make a blog, and i was sleepy, i went to bathe 4 times and slurped down 7 cups of mocha, and it kept my fuel running till 5am, and yeah. I woke up at 8am, and first thing that happened to me was, i found myself being dragged into my parent's car while i'm half-concious. Whoa, i got kidnapped, someone wants me, finally! Whee!

First thing i know, i was dragged to this place. And my VGA cam took a pic of it, lol. VGA takes crappy pictures, oh my buddha! If you want nice pictures sponsor me a compact digital or 3.0mega pixel phonecam. I'm sick of SLRs and D70s.

And so, i was dragged to grandpere's garden. -__-

And here's a tea's fruit, according to me. Looks like cherry, aint it. And tea fruit literally means, the fruit of tea, you get it. If you still don't, ask me, but please, make an appointment by ramming your head against the wall, first.

The other pictures just won't come to my tablet. So nobody gets them except for me, me, me! HA!

And, here's a shuai-ge for you, =]

THANK ME FOR THE PICTURE, DARN IT. LOLSZX.

2006-09-03T14:12:00.000+08:00

I hate losers who steal other people's stuff, i classify them, whores.

Darn it, i've lost my precious iPod to some faggots. Some faggots stole it while i was playing bball. I've made a police report, so fuck you, the guy who stole it.

I don't think it'll be possible to get it back, unless some guy returns it to me. But if some guy really returns it to me, i'll just let him off the hook. If i found it on you, then i'll sue you, till not only your pants drop, i'll make sure your balls fall off too, you...whore.

And since there's only a 0.96% chance of me getting my iPod back, i'm considering buying a new iPod. But i'm not certain whether i'll go for nano or shuffle. According to me, shuffle produces perfect square waves, i'm not sure whether nano's improved or not, but shuffle's the best candidate for me, since i dont use any iPod functions and only need it while i'm out rollerblading or defecating, somewhere.

Image courtesy of Bill Machrone*

So, this is the shuffle's 'square waves,' which has a almost perfect bass, omfgqtfbbq! That's so uber incredible, can?! Unless apple actually used the same system on nano, which i dno. Hey it rhymes. Okay, back to topic, so, the shuffle's got such a great bass system and it's so uber cheap and it meets my standards, why not?

But, the only problem is, 1GB store what shit -.-

I might consider getting a nano, but i think it's a nono, HEY IT RHYMED AGAIN OMG.

And yeah, this' another MP3's performance, compare, which's more square-ish =]

Image courtesy of Bill Machrone*

So, yeah. By the way, Mr. Bill, if you're reading this, i used your stuff without your permission, cause i doubt you'll reply me, eh.

2006-09-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

Hi, your idol is back.

I hate pop-ups. Especially those leading to porn sites, darn those no-life thangs for wasting 30 minutes of my life trying to stop my tablet from hanging, argh. 2 pop-ups ruins the day. And, haters, please stop using my email to register me for Hentai, if i need it, i can register for it myself, thanks. It's just that i hate porn and i hate you.

Just when i was making this new blog for my fans out there, shit ruins my mood.

Sorry, this post was supposed to be filled with fun, joy and laughter, if you ain't laughing right now, you're sadded.

Anyway,

Hi, your idol's back, do some cat-whistles, go whee-euu-weet, ask if i care.